|← "Everybody Hates Mako"||#7: "Cliffhanger"||"The Plot Thinnens" →|
Date: August 07, 2006
Running Time: 4:44
"The Lonely Man" from The Incredible Hulk 1977 TV Series plays
YAMI: Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh!...
TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Yami's the father!
JOEY: Tristan, don't leave me!
TRISTAN: I'm sorry, Joey, it's just not working out between us.
JOEY: But I love you!
TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Weevil's the father!
YUGI: Grampa! So you're the one who shot Tristan!
GRAMPA: Yes, it was I!
TÉA: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and Bakura's the--
YUGI: No [bleep]ing way.
TÉA: Okay, I lied about that one.
GHOST KAIBA: This time, Yugi, you don't stand a ghost of a chance!
TRISTAN: Yugi, I think I'm pregnant, and you're the father!
YAMI: And now, the thrilling conclusion! Wait a minute, did any of that stuff actually happen?
At the Dueling Field
HAIR GUY: Attention, duelists! My hair has abducted this small child! If you want me to release him, you must first defeat Seto Kaiba's ghost in a duel!
YAMI: Are you trying to tell me that Kaiba came back from the dead just to play a card game with me?
HAIR GUY: Yes!
YAMI: Either this is a trick, or this show is even dumber than I thought.
GHOST KAIBA: It's true Yugi, I've returned from the dead in order to defeat you. My desire for vengeance was so strong that even hell itself could not hope to contain-
YAMI: OK, time out! Does anybody believe for even one second that this guy is a ghost?
TRISTAN: I do!
YAMI: Anyone besides Tristan?
TRISTAN: I do!
GHOST KAIBA: What's your point?
YAMI: My point is you're not a ghost. No eff-ing way.
GHOST KAIBA: Then explain how I have this! The Hitotsu-Me Giant!
YAMI: (sarcastically) Oh. You're right. That definitely proves it.
GHOST KAIBA: Look, I'm a ghost, okay? Quit being such a jerk.
YAMI: If you're a ghost, then I'm straight.
cut to a forest
KAIBA: Now that Pegasus thinks I'm dead, I can work on redeeming my character in the eyes of the fans! Wait a minute, how the hell did I climb up the side of a cliff while holding a briefcase? And, for that matter, how the hell did I get here? Into the Kaiba Cave!
The 1960's Batman theme music plays as Kaiba enters his cave
COMPUTER: Hi there, Kaiba, I'm your inappropriately voiced computer system.
KAIBA: Wait a second, do you mean I have to spend the entire episode talking to a machine?
COMPUTER: It's like looking in a mirror, isn't it?
KAIBA: Using my leet haxzor skills, I'm going to bring down one of Pegasus's satellites so that I can gain access to his computer systems. Hooray for cyber-terrorism!
COMPUTER: It looks like you're just pressing the same keys over and over again.
KAIBA: That's because I learned how to hack by watching old episodes of Star Trek.
COMPUTER: Since I'm such an advanced computer, I can make Pegasus's computer systems look like a really boring video game.
(the blue screen of death appears on the computer)
KAIBA: Ahh! The blue screen of death! My mortal enemy...
(back at the dueling field)
GHOST KAIBA: You don't stand a ghost of a chance, Yugi, because this time I'm--
YAMI: How many times are you going to use that line?!
(cut to black screen)
[honestly, they use
that pun way too much.
here, I'll prove it...]
GHOST KAIBA: [clip from actual episode] It's me, Kaiba, and this time, you don't stand a ghost of a chance!
HAIR GUY: [clip from actual episode] Yugi, you don't have a ghost of a chance beating Kaiba because this time he is a ghost!
ZOMBIE BOY: [clip from actual episode] I'm afraid you don't stand a ghost of a chance in a duel against me!
where bad puns go to die
(Bonz cameo FTW!)
GHOST KAIBA: Whoooo-oooo, I'm a ghost, whoo-
YAMI: Oh, stop it! You're not fooling anyone.
TRISTAN: It's a ghost!
YAMI: Tristan doesn't count.
MOKUBA: That's not my brother! Everyone says he's a bad person, but it's not true!
YAMI: He stole my grandfather's favorite card, put him in the hospital and then left you at the mercy of his enemies! Face it kid, your brother's a giant prick!
KAIBA: Even though I'm his archrival, I'm going to use this virus to help Yugi win. Finally, being a rich nerd pays off.
COMPUTER: You really do need to get laid.
YAMI: Aha! See? You're not a ghost at all! You're some kind of... gay clown, apparently.
TÉA: Eww! It's slightly more repulsive than regular clowns!
GAY CLOWN: Actually, I'm not a clown. I'm Seto Kaiba's evil side brought back from the Shadow Realm by Pegasus--
YAMI: That's even less believable than the whole ghost story! You don't even know what you are, do you?
GAY CLOWN: No...
YAMI: Didn't think so. MIND CRUSH!! (mind crushes the gay clown to death) Did I just kill a gay clown?
TRISTAN: That ghost didn't scare me, even if I did just sh*t my pants.
YAMI: He didn't stand a ghost of a chance!
JOEY: Hey, what happened to Mokuba?
YAMI: Who cares?
(End. The Batman song plays again)
CAPTION: [i think i'm pregnant...]
ROBOT MONKEY TRISTAN: (as Bender) Bite my shiny metal ass!
ROBOT MONKEY TRISTAN: Shinier than yours, meatbag.
Yami Bakura appears on screen along with the text:
his time is
(we're all going