|← Episode 00||Episode 01||Episode 02 →|
Date: 4 September 2007
Running Time: 5:12
(In a large fog filled room with pillars in it)
YUGI: (walking) That's weird. Everything feels different somehow, it's almost as though I've fallen into another dimension or something. (sees Yami being held by some dark, mysterious monster) Pharaoh! What's going on?!
YAMI: (being held by dark monster with glowing red eyes) It's 4Kids, Yugi. They've unleashed something evil.
YUGI: Hey! Let go of my partner!
4KIDS: (talking through the monster) He belongs to us now.
YUGI: Who the hell are you?
4KIDS: We are 4Kids, and soon the whole world will know and fear us, even more than they already do. Be sure to visit our website at www.4kids.tv.
YUGI: (in his bed, rolling onto the floor) No! You bastards! (falls) Oof! Geez. For a second there I thought I was stuck in a crappy spin-off show.
(Title sequence; "Get Down Tonight" plays)
YUGI: (walking, humming "We're All in This Together" from High School Musical, stops in front of the game shop which has a closed sign on it.) Hm? That's weird. Grandpa hasn't come home yet.
GRANDPA: (tying his shoe) I'm going on a secret expedition.
YUGI: But what about the game shop?
GRANDPA: Oh, you can take care of that, can't you?
YUGI: But who's going to take care of me? I don't have any onscreen parents. I'll be all alone.
GRANDPA: (with his finger in the air and winking) Seeeecret expeditiooooon.
YUGI: (thinking) Why did I even bother rescuing him from Pegasus?
CAPTION: [omg spoilers!!!]
(At school, Yugi is playing a game with Téa)
YUGI: Duel Monsters? What's that?
TÉA: You know, the card game.
YUGI: I'm... not following you.
TÉA: Duel Monsters. The card game. You play it all the time.
YUGI: Sorry, Téa, I don't know what you're talking about. But this Capsule Monsters game is super-special awesome. Kids should definitely ask their parents to buy it for them.
TÉA: I don't even know you anymore.
TRISTAN: (off-screen) What's crackin', homies? (appears)
CAPTION: [applause] (sound of canned applause similar to that from sitcoms)
TÉA: Hey, Tristan, you remember Duel Monsters, right?
TRISTAN: (holding a game piece up to his face) Capsule Monsters... Must... play... Capsule Monsters.
JOEY: (running into the classroom, tickets in hand) Guess what, guys! I just conveniently won four tickets to India!
TRISTAN: What a shocking and unexpected turn of events!
TÉA: Let's ditch school and go there right now. I'm sure our parents won't mind.
JOEY: (raising his legs at ridiculous levels, while walking, even while Tristan speaks) Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh!
TRISTAN: I can't wait till we get to India. I wanna meet Pocahontas.
JOEY: Yeah! And all her little woodland friends!
YUGI: Um, guys, I don't think Pocahontas was—
JOEY & TRISTAN: (singing) Can you paint with all the colors of the wiiiiind...
YUGI: It sure is exciting having our very own spin-off show. Do you suppose we'll run into Bakura?
YUGI: Duke Devlin?
YUGI: So, are we the only characters on this show?
TÉA: Well, Shadi shows up later on.
YUGI: (flat voice) Oh great. Shadi. I'm excited.
(At the airport)
JOEY: (off-screen) Eh, eh, wait up you guys! (on screen, panting)
TÉA: Quit lagging behind, Joey.
JOEY: I think I dislocated my back.
TÉA: (smiling) Tee-hee-hee! Joey's stupidity is an endless source of amusement.
PILOT: (very effeminate sounding) You must be our lucky prize winners. Just follow meeeeeeee.
TRISTAN: (much louder than necessary) I think the pilot is gay!
YUGI: Oh you don't know that.
PILOT: (in a sing-song voice) Aaaall aboooooaaaaaaaard!
(Shot of a plane)
PILOT: (voiceover) Thank you for flying with Camp Airlines. If you look outside you'll see some faaabulous trees!
TÉA: This must be what God feels like!
YUGI: Hey, Téa, wanna join the Mile high club?
PILOT: Oopsie! (screen starts shaking)
TRISTAN: Hey, what gives?
PILOT: I'm afraid we're going to crash. This is so not faaaaabulooous!
(Ride of the Valkyries plays, then a large explosive sound)
(shot of Yugi and the gang sitting on the island)
TRISTAN: I am frustrated by the fact that our plane crashed.
TÉA: Bad news, guys, the pilot's dead.
JOEY: This is a perfect opportunity for a Lost reference.
TRISTAN: No, we're not doing that.
JOEY: Oh, come on. Don't tell me what I can't do.
TRISTAN: Oh, okay. Maybe just this once.
(They walk through the woods)
JOEY: Let's go find the smoke monster!
TÉA: Hey, this is kinda like being back on Pegasus's island.
JOEY: (looking back, grinning) Who?
(Seeing someone collapsed on the ground, running over)
TRISTAN: Look! It's an Indian!
YUGI: Tristan, that's not an Indian.
TRISTAN: You're right, I'm sorry. I meant to say 'Native American'.
ALEX: (completely white) Thank you for rescuing me. My name is Doctor Alex Brisbane. I'm definitely not a villain. Yugi's grandfather and I were on a secret expedition. But then Yugi's grandfather went missing unexpectedly. Did I mention I'm not a villain?
(They arrive at a large pyramid with two smaller pyramids on one side of it, and stand on a cliff above)
TÉA: For some reason, that pyramid reminds me of Mai Valentine.
(walking on a path)
ALEX: This pyramid was built by Alexander the Great, he conquered most of the known world. And then hundreds of years later, Oliver Stone made a crappy movie about him starring Colin Farrel and Rosario Dawson's breasts.
TÉA: What a fascinating story.
ALEX: You're saying I'm a villain, aren't you? Admit it!
(They are climbing across a cavern using an indentation on the wall, and moving their hands along it while their bodies hang loosely)
JOEY: This is just like playing Tomb Raider! Except it's actually fun.
(In a dark room with a map that looks like the Capsule Monster's playing field)
ALEX: This room is where your grandfather disappeared.
YUGI: Wow, look at the floor. It's covered with some sort of map. It looks...familiar somehow.
TÉA: Yeah, it's just like the dueling fields in Duel Monsters.
TRISTAN: What is this "Duel Monsters" you speak of?
JOEY: I bet Pocahontas kidnapped Yugi's Grandpa! Don't worry, Gramps! I'll save you! (runs over and steps on the map, the piece that he steps on, glowing brightly, sucking him in) Uh-oh. Nyeeeeah!
TRISTAN: Oh no! Pocahontas got Joey, too!
TÉA: That bitch!
YUGI: I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of rescuing people. Let's just pretend this never happened.
ALEX: You can't mean that you're about to step on that map!
YUGI: No, I was just gonna leave.
ALEX: So you're stepping on the map, then?
YUGI: No. I'm leaving.
ALEX: Step on the map.
YUGI: Make me!
ALEX: Oh, come on. I'll be your friend.
YUGI: Look, there's no way I'm stepping on any freaking map.
ALEX: What if I told you there was candy inside the map?
YUGI: You've gotta be kidding me. I'd have to be an idiot to fall for—
TÉA: Hey, candy, that sounds pretty good.
TRISTAN: Yes! Let's go get the candy.
(They both grab Yugi, jump onto the map, and disappear)
YUGI: No! Don't listen to him; it's a trick! How dare you defy me?!
ALEX: (in a much gruffer voice, reminiscent of Bakura and Yami Bakura) I knew he'd step on the map. My evil plan is going perfectly.
(screen blacks out)
CAPTION: [to be continued...]
ALEX: (off-screen) But I'm definitely not a villain.