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WARNING: [SWEARING IS NOT BLEEPED!!!! PLEASE SKIP THIS TRANSCRIPT NOW IF YOU ARE NOT CONFORTABLE WITH 'F*CK'!!!! If not, enjoy anyways!]

Cast (In order of appearance): Yami, Kaiba, Joey, Melvin, Marik.

Date: December 3, 2015

Running Time: 1:27

Transcript Edit

CAPTION:
What happens when you
combine a grown man, several
Yu-Gi-Oh themed statues, a Vine
account, and too much free time?

[VINE #1]Edit

YAMI: I summon my Egyptian God Cards! (shows tiny mini figurines of the Egyptian Gods) …The fuck.

KAIBA: I summon my Blue-Eyes! (shows Green Yarn Yoshi amiibo) …The fuck!

[VINE #2]Edit

YAMI: I’m gonna whip out mah balls. (shows Kuriboh toys) Yeeeh.

KAIBA: Well, I summon the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon— (shows Green, Pink, and Cyan Yarn Yoshi amiibos) What the fuuuu—

[VINE #3]Edit

YAMI: Watch out for my balls, Kaiba.

KAIBA: You’re being ridiculous. Those balls will never— (the Kuriboh toys start to attack Kaiba) Oh God, no! AAAAAAAGH!!!!

YAMI: That’s my balls.

[VINE #4]Edit

JOEY: You got this, Yug!

YAMI: I-I know, Joey.

JOEY: You totally got this, Yug!

YAMI: I know!

JOEY: (whispering) Hey, Yug.

YAMI: What?

JOEY: You got— (Yami attacks Joey)

[VINE #5]Edit

YAMI: Now, I Summon the unstoppable Exodia! (shows Exodia figurine)

KAIBA: AAAAGH!!!! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!! (rapidly) NO-ONE’S-EVER-BEEN-ABLE-TO-SUMMON— (Exodia attacks Kaiba)

[VINE #6]Edit

YAMI: Kaiba, behind you!

KAIBA: Nice trick, Yugi! You really think I’m gonna fall for that one?

YAMI: No! Legit, look!

KAIBA: Seriously, do you really think I’m gonna fall for tha— (Mega Ultra Chicken figurine attacks Kaiba)

[VINE #7]Edit

KAIBA: Now, I Summon my Battle Ox! (shows a plush cow )

YAMI: Oh! It’s cute!

KAIBA: No, it’s a very intimidating monster—

YAMI: Kawaii desu. (pets Battle Ox)

KAIBA: STOP FUCKING PETTING IT!

[VINE #8]Edit

KAIBA: I summon Panther Warrior! (shows Harley the Cat) In Attack Mode!

YAMI: Oh! It’s even cuter!

KAIBA: No, he’s a very intimidating— (Harley leaves) WHERE ARE YOU GOING, PANTH—

[VINE #9]Edit

KAIBA: I summon Blue-Eyes— (shows Optimus Prime riding Grimlock in his T-Rex form) WHAT THE FUCK EVER!

YAMI: Well, I summon Joey, Guardian of Brooklyn!

JOEY: Nyeh! (proceeds to hit Grimlock) Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!

[VINE #10]Edit

KAIBA: I Summon Darth Vader! (shows Disney Infinity's Darth Vader) In Attack Mode!

YAMI: Well, I Summon Ewan McGregor! (shows Obi-Wan Kenobi toy)

OBI-WAN TOY: If you strike me down, I shall— (Darth Vader attacks Obi-Wan)

[VINE #11]Edit

YAMI: Hey, Kaiba. I hear it’s your birthday.

KAIBA: Yeah, what’d you get me?

YAMI: The only thing you don’t have: a life!

(Yami attacks Kaiba)

[VINE #12]Edit

YAMI: I Summon golden Frieza! (shows a golden Frieza) In Attack Mode!

KAIBA: Man, C-3PO is PISSED!

GOLDEN FRIEZA: Fuck you.

[VINE #13]Edit

MELVIN: Who wants a hug?

(shows Marik in Melvin’s arms)

MARIK: Get in line, bitches!

YAMI: I didn’t want a hug anyway.

KAIBA: Damnit, I wanted that hug.

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