WARNING: [SWEARING IS NOT BLEEPED!!!! PLEASE SKIP THIS TRANSCRIPT NOW IF YOU ARE NOT CONFORTABLE WITH 'F*CK'!!!! If not, enjoy anyways!]
Cast (In order of appearance): Yami, Kaiba, Joey, Melvin, Marik.
Date: December 3, 2015
Running Time: 1:27
Transcript[]
CAPTION:
What happens when you
combine a grown man, several
Yu-Gi-Oh themed statues, a Vine
account, and too much free time?
[VINE #1][]
YAMI: I summon my Egyptian God Cards! (shows tiny mini figurines of the Egyptian Gods) …The fuck.
KAIBA: I summon my Blue-Eyes! (shows Green Yarn Yoshi amiibo) …The fuck!
[VINE #2][]
YAMI: I’m gonna whip out mah balls. (shows Kuriboh toys) Yeeeh.
KAIBA: Well, I summon the Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon— (shows Green, Pink, and Cyan Yarn Yoshi amiibos) What the fuuuu—
[VINE #3][]
YAMI: Watch out for my balls, Kaiba.
KAIBA: You’re being ridiculous. Those balls will never— (the Kuriboh toys start to attack Kaiba) Oh God, no! AAAAAAAGH!!!!
YAMI: That’s my balls.
[VINE #4][]
JOEY: You got this, Yug!
YAMI: I-I know, Joey.
JOEY: You totally got this, Yug!
YAMI: I know!
JOEY: (whispering) Hey, Yug.
YAMI: What?
JOEY: You got— (Yami attacks Joey)
[VINE #5][]
YAMI: Now, I Summon the unstoppable Exodia! (shows Exodia figurine)
KAIBA: AAAAGH!!!! THAT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!! (rapidly) NO-ONE’S-EVER-BEEN-ABLE-TO-SUMMON— (Exodia attacks Kaiba)
[VINE #6][]
YAMI: Kaiba, behind you!
KAIBA: Nice trick, Yugi! You really think I’m gonna fall for that one?
YAMI: No! Legit, look!
KAIBA: Seriously, do you really think I’m gonna fall for tha— (Mega Ultra Chicken figurine attacks Kaiba)
[VINE #7][]
KAIBA: Now, I Summon my Battle Ox! (shows a plush cow )
YAMI: Oh! It’s cute!
KAIBA: No, it’s a very intimidating monster—
YAMI: Kawaii desu. (pets Battle Ox)
KAIBA: STOP FUCKING PETTING IT!
[VINE #8][]
KAIBA: I summon Panther Warrior! (shows Harley the Cat) In Attack Mode!
YAMI: Oh! It’s even cuter!
KAIBA: No, he’s a very intimidating— (Harley leaves) WHERE ARE YOU GOING, PANTH—
[VINE #9][]
KAIBA: I summon Blue-Eyes— (shows Optimus Prime riding Grimlock in his T-Rex form) WHAT THE FUCK EVER!
YAMI: Well, I summon Joey, Guardian of Brooklyn!
JOEY: Nyeh! (proceeds to hit Grimlock) Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!
[VINE #10][]
KAIBA: I Summon Darth Vader! (shows Disney Infinity's Darth Vader) In Attack Mode!
YAMI: Well, I Summon Ewan McGregor! (shows Obi-Wan Kenobi toy)
OBI-WAN TOY: If you strike me down, I shall— (Darth Vader attacks Obi-Wan)
[VINE #11][]
YAMI: Hey, Kaiba. I hear it’s your birthday.
KAIBA: Yeah, what’d you get me?
YAMI: The only thing you don’t have: a life!
(Yami attacks Kaiba)
[VINE #12][]
YAMI: I Summon golden Frieza! (shows a golden Frieza) In Attack Mode!
KAIBA: Man, C-3PO is PISSED!
GOLDEN FRIEZA: Fuck you.
[VINE #13][]
MELVIN: Who wants a hug?
(shows Marik in Melvin’s arms)
MARIK: Get in line, bitches!
YAMI: I didn’t want a hug anyway.
KAIBA: Damnit, I wanted that hug.