|← "... In America"||#12: "Duel of the Dead"||"Busted Rhymes" →|
Date: October 12, 2006
Running Time: 5:40
YAMI: No Duel Monsters were harmed in the making of this episode - except for Kuriboh.
Joey is dreaming, and being chased by the Blue-Eyes White Dragon
JOEY: Help! I'm being chased by the slowest dragon in the universe! Think of all the card games I'll never play!
He turns around to see a giant Kaiba behind him
JOEY: Oh no, it's Kaibazilla! I knew he'd come for me one day.
KAIBA: If you think this is huge, then you should see my ego. Now, sit at your master's feet like the dog that you are.
JOEY: But I don't wanna be a furry.
KAIBA: Shut up and bend over.
JOEY: Yes, master.
"Love to Love You Baby" plays with the subtitle [the imagery speaks for itself]
Joey wakes up, they're all in a forest
JOEY: Nyeh! Man, what a nightmare. That was almost as bad as that dream I had where Kaiba beat me in a card game.
YUGI: Actually, Joey, I think that really happened.
JOEY: It was a dream!
TÉA: Hey, Yugi, Mai Skankentine told me to give you this letter. (she gives Yugi a note covered in pink smudges)
YUGI: How the hell am I supposed to read this? It's just a bunch of pink smudges!
TRISTAN: Yugi's got a girlfriend!
YUGI: That does it. Tristan is so getting a mind crush.
JOEY: Check it out, I've been working on my dance moves! I call this one the "Joey".
YUGI: Joey, that's the worst dance I've ever seen.
Keith's goons are spying on them
JOEY: You're just jealous.
ZOMBIE BOY: Braaains! (subtitle: what a cool dance!)
ZYGOR: You said it, Zombie Boy!
SID: Oy, isn't that Yugi? The only person on this island who's hair is more ridiculous than ours?
ZOMBIE BOY: Braaains. (He looks like a bobblehead doll.)
SID: Let's go do more cliche henchman things.
they go to see Bandit Keith
KEITH: Excellent work, my fellow Americans! It sounds like those kids are about to fall right into my trap... in America!
SID: Oy, boss, you know we're not actually in America, right?
KEITH: I don't understand a word you just said. Try speaking American, it's the only language I understand.
in the forest
JOEY: I gotta go take a whiz.
YUGI: Too much information, Joey.
in a cave
KEITH: That graveyard arena should be around here somewhere. These sunglasses sure make it difficult to see in the dark, but I refuse to take them off because I'm an American, and Americans always wear sunglasses. Now it's time for my favorite Shakespeare quote. "Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him.. In America!"
ZOMBIE BOY: Braains? (I dropped out of zombie school for this?)
At a waterfall, Joey is washing his hands
JOEY: Ain't nothing like gettin' out what ya gotta get out. (Zygor appears behind him) Hello, did you enjoy watching me pee?
fade out, then back in at the graveyard arena
ZYGOR: Rise and shine, dweeb.
JOEY: Hey, where the heck are we?
ZOMBIE BOY: Braaains!! (It's time to duel!)
JOEY: Oh no, it's a GOTH!
YUGI: I wonder what's keeping Joey? If he's gone much longer, we'll have to give his screen time to Bakura.
BAKURA: Let's ditch the tosser!
TÉA: Score, a wallet! Finders keepers! (she opens it to reveal a picture of Serenity)
TRISTAN: Hey, that's Joey's fine-ass sister! I'd recognize that "come hither" look anywhere.
YUGI: Let's all wander blindly into that cave over there.
At the graveyard arena
JOEY: What do you people want from me?
KEITH: Your star chips, dweeb! I have a score to settle with Pegasus, so Zombie Boy here's gonna beat you in a card game.
JOEY: Why didn't ya just take my star chips when I was unconscious?
KEITH: Shut the hell up! It's time for Zombie Boy to sing the American national anthem.. IN AMERICA!!
ZOMBIE BOY: (singing) Brains Brains Brains Brains Braaaains... (Oh, say can you see...)
ZYGOR: He has the voice of a zombie angel.
in the cave
YUGI: We can't find Joey anywhere. This is so totally the opposite of Super Special Awesome - whatever that is.
BAKURA: Look, a couple of coffins! These'll come in handy when we kill Joey for making us look for him.
TÉA: (opens one of the coffins and a skeleton falls on her) Oh no, a supermodel!
YUGI: Stop trying to make out with Téa! That's my job!
TÉA: Yugi touched me. That means we're engaged.
Graveyard arena, Michael Jackson's "Thriller" plays as Zombie Boy's Zombies attack Joey
Back in the cave
YUGI: Hey what happened to Bakura?
TÉA: Maybe they finally wrote him out of the show!
BAKURA: Help! This supermodel's one of my fangirls!! (runs onscreen with a skeleton on his back)
TÉA, TRISTAN AND YUGI: Not a fangirl! (run)
BAKURA: Come back here and help me, you wankers!
TRISTAN: (crushes its skull) Egh! Who's smexy now, bitch?
YUGI: We should be okay, as long as you guys don't trigger any more obvious traps.
BAKURA: (triggers an obvious trap) Oh, smeg.
YUGI: Is everyone from England a total spaz, Bakura?
BAKURA: Pretty much.
A giant boulder rolls towards them and the Katamari Damacy theme plays. They all scream and run
BAKURA: Gangway! Women and shemales first! (trips) Oh, bollocks! (gets crushed by the boulder)
YUGI: It got Bakura!
TRISTAN: I shall avenge his death! My voice gives me super strength! (stops, turns and punches the boulder, which promptly explodes) Holy [bleep], it really does!!
YUGI: Oh, it was just a balloon with a speaker inside. I guess I wet my pants for nothing.
BAKURA: (lying on the ground traumatized) Somebody... tell my fangirls... I love them...
TÉA: Looks like Bakura's scarred for life again.
JOEY: I sure wish Yugi were here. How am I supposed to prove my independance without his help?
Yugi and the others arrive
YUGI: Don't worry, Joey, we're here to rescue you! Wait a second, have you been playing a card game? We were worried sick about you!
JOEY: Hey, I'm trying to regain my self esteem here.
YUGI: You hang out with us. You don't have any self esteem.
JOEY: Oh yeah.
KEITH: Seems you're out of luck, dweeb. Zombie Boy's monsters are about to wipe out your life points.
JOEY: Lemme guess: In America, right?
KEITH: I wasn't going to say that! ..in America..
YUGI: Joey you can still win! Just remember your love for Serenity and you can do anything!
ZOMBIE BOY: Braaains... (WTF?)
YUGI: Well Joey, it looks like you learned an important lesson. The only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain.
JOEY: I also learned that I'm secretly a furry.
YUGI: Once again, too much information, Joey.
JOEY: Let's get out of here before we get eaten by a grue.
Outside the cave entrance
SID: They'll never be able to get past this cardboard cut-out of a boulder. (he, Zombie Boy and Zygor are pushing a boulder in front of the entrance)
KEITH: Another victory for America.
inside the entrance
JOEY: (he and the others are trying to push the boulder away) It's no use, it's made of solid cardboard!
TÉA: I can't believe I'm trapped in a cave with four guys.
BAKURA: Fancy a shag, Téa?
TÉA: Oops, I mean three guys.
End. The Gonk plays
CAPTION: [i'm bringing smexy back]
YUGI: (as Chris Griffin, to Yami) Get out of my head, get out of my head!!