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← "The Plot Thinnens" #9: "El Juegos De Tarjeta" "Both Of You, Duel Like You Want To Win" →

Cast (In order of appearance): Tea, Joey, Yugi, Tristan, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Yami, Zorc, Mai Valentine

Date: September 08, 2006

Running Time: 5:46

Transcript Edit

Intro

(4Kids' original Latin American Spanish dub, with English subtitles)

NARRATOR: Previously on the Yu-Gi-Oh...

(Yugi and the others are seen in a forest. Bushes behind Tea rustle.)

TÉA: Ahh!

JOEY: What is this new devilry?

(Bakura appears out of the darkness.)

YUGI: Behold, it is the Bakura.

JOEY: Hereupon, my fears are alleviated.

BAKURA: Bakura has been permitted the friendship.

YUGI: You have a Millennium Item unexpectedly!

YAMI BAKURA: Indeed, and with its powers I make my voice sound gruff and sexy.

(He takes them all to the Shadow Realm.)

JOEY: Poor weather conditions?

YUGI: This is an unfortunate turn of events!

YAMI BAKURA: Yes. (This line is spoken as a long string of words in Spanish)

(He makes everyone faint with his Millennium Ring.)

YAMI BAKURA: All your puzzle are belong to me.

(He reaches for the Puzzle, but it activates and Yami appears.)

YAMI BAKURA: Do not want!

YAMI BAKURA: Oh no! Growth hormones!

YAMI: How dare you tamper with my jewelry, villainous cur!

YAMI BAKURA: The card game of us commences.

(Slight pause)

YAMI BAKURA: Right after these words from our sponsor.

Title sequence

(Yami and Evil Bakura's duel. They are speaking English now.)

YAMI BAKURA: Once I gain all seven Millennium Items, I shall use their vaguely established powers to destroy the world! But first, I'm going to beat you in a card game.

YAMI: Not if I can help it, you albino cream puff! I summon the Cyber Commander, which, by the way, is Tristan's favorite monster, even though he never actually plays this game.

(Tristan is the Cyber Commander'.)

TRISTAN (still in his new voice): I'm surprisingly buff!

YAMI: By the gods! That's exactly what I want to look like!

YAMI BAKURA: White Magical Hat! Send his Cyber Commander to the Graveyard!

(White Magical Hat destroys Cyber Commander Tristan, who disappears in red light.)

YAMI: No! Tristan! He was the finest mind of his generation! I summon the Flame Swordsman! A.k.a., Joey's favourite monster.

JOEY (as the Flame Swordsman): Uh-oh. Have I been cross dressing in my sleep again?

YAMI: It seems that Bakura has somehow placed our souls within each of our favourite cards. Either that, or he's turned you all into cosplayers.

JOEY: That bastard!

YAMI: By the way, Tristan's dead.

JOEY: Oh, not again!

YAMI: I also summon the Dark Magician!

YUGI: (as the Dark Magician) I look slightly more ridiculous than usual!

YAMI: And now I activate Reborn the Monster! (caption appears: *Monster Reborn) In order to resurrect Tristan's original voice!

TRISTAN: (in his original voice) Hey, what gives? I liked my new voice. People were starting to take me seriously.

YAMI: Sorry Tristan, but it's much easier to make fun of you this way.

JOEY: Wait a second. Why are there two Yugi's?

YUGI: I'm not sure, but sometimes when I'm dueling, it's like I can feel a powerful voice inside my head telling me how to win!

TRISTAN: Does that mean you've been cheating?

YUGI: Well, it's more complicated than that...

JOEY: Sounds like cheatin' to me, Yug.

YUGI: It's not cheating!! It's more like we have a spiritual connection that goes far beyond any-

JOEY: Hey! Big Yugi! Has Little Yugi been cheatin' this whole time?

(Yami nods.)

YUGI: Oh, you guys can all just go straight to hell.

YAMI: Now I'll place Téa in face-down position. I've always wanted to say that!

TÉA: (as the Magician of Faith) This is just like something out of a bad fanfic!

YUGI (thinking): If only she'd picked the Dark Magician Girl! Mmmm, Dark Magician Girl...

YAMI BAKURA: Good luck overcoming my Man-Eater Bug.

YUGI: One of us has to sacrifice themself in order to kill that monster! I nominate Tristan.

TÉA: Seconded.

JOEY: Don't worry Tristan, I always wanted to die wearing a dress. (he attacks the Bug and it takes him with it) I regret nothing!

YAMI BAKURA: Soon I'll be the only character left! I've always wanted my own cartoon. I think I'll call it... "Zorc and Pals".

(The cartoon begins.)

NARRATOR: (singing; the words he sings appear on screen)
Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world?
IT'S ZORC!

ZORC: That's me!

NARRATOR: (singing) It's Zorc and Pals!

YAMI BAKURA: Zorc, did you forget our anniversary? Again?

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: Yes, I was too busy destroying the world.

(More canned laughter.)

ZORC: I've slaughtered millions!

(Yet more canned laughter.)

YAMI BAKURA: That's my Zorc!

NARRATOR: (singing)
The blood of the innocent will flow without end!
His name is Zorc and he's destroyin' the world!

(Cartoon ends.)

YAMI BAKURA: What do you think, Pharaoh?

YAMI: I think you'll be taken off the air faster than you can say "Arrested Development!"

TÉA: That was my favorite show... Why did they have to cancel it? (cries)

YUGI: Téa's tears activated her special ability, making her attack and defense points look completely inaccurate!

YAMI: Yes, and it also allows me to recycle Reborn the Monster! (Caption reads: *Still Monster Reborn)

(In the Graveyard.)

JOEY: Please don't kill me! I have three best friends! Kill them instead!

(Just before Joey is killed by Reaper of the Cards, he is transferred back to the duel.)

YUGI: It's okay Joey, my alter-ego brought you back to life with a Spell Card.

TRISTAN: Just like our Lord Jesus.

YAMI BAKURA: How many times do I have to kill you people before you stay dead? (He reveals the Change of Heart card.)

YUGI: The Change of Heart! That's Bakura's favourite card!

YAMI BAKURA: Yes, and with it I'm going to turn you into a villain! That way, you'll know what it's like to have your plans foiled time after time by a group of card-game-obsessed morons!

YUGI: Look, it's the real Bakura!

BAKURA (as the angel depicted in Change of Heart; he proceeds to possess the body of Yami Bakura's Lady of Faith): I've taken control of this woman's body in order to save you guys. And I don't mind telling you, it feels bloody great!

YAMI BAKURA: By the gods, that's exactly what I want to look like!

YAMI: Conveniently, my Millennium Puzzle allows me to put souls back into their original bodies. (He returns the Bakura's soul back into his own body, and places Yami Bakura's soul into Lady of Faith's body.)

YAMI BAKURA: How dare you defy me? Just wait until Zorc hears about this!

YAMI: (in Mortal Kombat voice) FINISH HIM!

YUGI: Super Special Awesome Attack!

YAMI BAKURA: Oh, bugger me! (He is sent to the Graveyard)

YAMI BAKURA: I shall be a main character! Even if it takes me another two hundred bloody episodes.

(The duel is over and all the other characters return to their own bodies.)

BAKURA: I say, that plot line made a lot more sense in the original manga.

YUGI: Where did you get your evil ring from, Bakura?

BAKURA: My father bought it while he was in Egypt looking to purchase some blue hair dye.

JOEY: Man, I had the most unbelievable dream. There were two Yugis, and Bakura was a main character!

TÉA: I usually enjoy dreams that involve two Yugis, but that one was very disappointing.

MAI: (from far offscreen) My breasts are in danger!

YUGI: Hey, that sounds like the plot for the next episode! Come on gang, lets go find out what is is! (They all run off and the scene cuts to a freeze-frame.)

TRISTAN: Oh no! The animation budget ran out!

End

CARTOON NARRATOR: (singing)
Who's that crazy kook destroyin' the world?
It's Zorc!

ZORC: That's me!

ONSCREEN TEXT: [sorry about that delay]

NARRATOR: (singing) It's Zorc and Pals.

Stinger:

KAIBA: (as Strong Bad) TROGDOR!!!! TROGDOR!!!!

Original Latin American DialogueEdit

NARRATOR: En el capítulo anterior... (In the previous episode...)

JOEY: ¿Qué fue eso? (What was that?)

YUGI: ¡Es Bakura! (It's Bakura!)

JOEY: Por un momento pensamos que debíamos preocuparnos. (For a moment there I thought we should be worried.)

BAKURA: Antes de empezar, hay algo que quiero compartir con ustedes. (Before we get started, there's something I'd like to share with you all.)

YUGI: ¡No puede ser! ¿Un Artículo del Milenio? (It can't be! A Millennium Item?)

YAMI BAKURA: Sí, y la magia de mi Sortija del Milenio nos llevará al Reino de las Sombras. (Yes, and the magic of my Millennium Ring will take us to the Shadow Realm.)

JOEY: Vaya, detesto la magia. (Man, I hate magic.)

YUGI: ¿Por qué haces esto, Bakura? No entiendo. (Why are you doing this, Bakura? I don't understand.)

YAMI BAKURA: Tienes algo que yo deseo, Yugi, y pienso quitártelo. (You have something I want, Yugi, and I aim to take it.)

YAMI BAKURA: ¡El legendario Rompecabezas del Milenio es mío! (The legendary Millennium Puzzle is mine!)

YAMI BAKURA: ¡No puede ser! (It can't be!)

YAMI: Si lo que quieres es mi Rompecabezas del Milenio, entonces tendrás que pelear conmigo. (If what you want is my Millennium Puzzle, then you're going to have to Duel me.)

YAMI BAKURA: Hay mucho más en riesgo de lo que imaginas, y este es un Juego de las Sombras que no puedes ganar. (There is much more at stake here than you comprehend, and this is one Shadow Game you cannot win.)

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