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Everybody Loves Mako/Transcript

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YAMI: Meanwhile, in a parallel universe...

Woods

JOEY: Man, I am so hungry.

YUGI: You'd think that Pegasus would at least provide us with free food, I mean, what kind of tournament is he trying to run?

TÉA: It's almost as if he wants us to starve to death!

Pegasus' castle.

PEGASUS: Gorgonzola cheese and the world's finest wine.

CROQUET: Um, sir? Another contestant dropped dead of hunger. Should we... maybe, uh... I don't know, feed them or something?

PEGASUS: Ohh, yes! Let them eat cake. I've always wanted to make that reference.

CROQUET: Ah... sir, we don't have any cake. We just have those crates of Gorgonzola cheese...

PEGASUS: Gorgonzola cheese and the world's finest wine.

CROQUET: Yes, that.

PEGASUS: Well, give them that, then.

CROQUET: Ah, but... ah, master Pegasus, you already ate all of the Gorgonzola cheese--

PEGASUS: Gorgonzola cheese and the world's finest wiiiiiiiiii...

Intro

On the beach

MAKO: You guys are eating my fish! (Tristan and Joey are next to the fire eating Mako's fish)

TRISTAN: We thought they were wild fish!

MAKO: They were on the land!

TRISTAN: We thought they had evolved!

MAKO: They were being roasted on a fire!

TRISTAN: We thought they were witches!

TÉA: (giggles) You have an octopus on your head. (points to a pink octopus on Mako's head)

MAKO: Oh, that is my friend. Otto, the gay octopus.

OTTO: (waving) Hiii...

TÉA: Eww, it's slightly more repulsive than regular octopi.

MAKO: Go away, Otto, I am trying to meet new people! (throws Otto at the sea)

TRISTAN & JOEY: Nooooo!

TRISTAN: Homophobia!

Joey: We were gonna eat that gay octopus!

TRISTAN: You're demented!

MAKO: I am a duelist.

YUGI: Wow, he's a duelist! Remember back in season one when it was a big deal to meet another duelist? That's what's happening now!

MAKO: Hey, you're Yugi Muto! The guy who beat Seto Kaiba!

YUGI: Yup.

MAKO: In that case, I would like to eat with you and your friends, in a show of respect.

YUGI: Gee, thanks, Mako!

TRISTAN: You're demented!

(interlude)

MAKO: And so then the guys from Naruto Abridged asked me to be on their show. So I said yes.

YUGI: Wow, really? I have also been on their show. What a coincidence!

MAKO: Yup. Everybody should watch Naruto Abridged!

YUGI: Remember when we weren't complete assholes to the guys from Naruto Abridged? That's what's happening now!

TRISTAN: You're demented!

YUGI: It sure was nice of you to share your fish with us, Mako.

MAKO: Haha! Don't worry, my friends, there's plenty more where that came from!

YUGI: We should probably get going.

MAKO: Leaving so soon, are you?

TRISTAN: What a swell guy!

TÉA: I like that he doesn't wear a shirt.

MAKO: (throws a harpoon at Yugi) Heyaa!

YUGI: Ahh!

TRISTAN: Holy boop on a boop sandwich!

YUGI: (with a British accent) Did- did you just frow a 'arpoon at me?

MAKO: Yes, I- Wait, why did you suddenly sound British?

YUGI: Remember when Lit'leKuriboh could barely voice act? That's what's happenin' now, gov'na!

MAKO: I challenge you to a duel, Yugi!

YUGI: (transforming) Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats! Hoooooooooo!

YAMI: I accept your challenge, Mako. Even if it was bloody rude of you to throw that harpoon at me.

On a Duel Arena

MAKO: With my denizens of the deep, there's no way you'll be able to defeat my deck!

OTTO (voice): You tell them, silly buns!

MAKO: Thanks, Otto. He is gay.

YAMI: Wait, there's an actual ocean on the field?

MAKO: That's right! And with monsters like my Fiend Kraken and Giant Jellyfish hiding on the water, you'll never be able to predict my attacks!

YAMI: How the hell does this strategy even work when you're not doing it on one of those special holographic duel fields? How do you prepare for something like this? Most people just play with regular cards. It doesn't make any sense!

MAKO: Look, stop criticizing the card game aspect of the show, and go back to making jokes about the characters.

YUGI: But it's so weird! It makes my eyes twitch. (twitches eyes) See? Twitchy eyes.

MAKO: Silence! (Full Moon is on field) With the Moon in play, the ocean's tides will rise causing your monsters to be isolated--

YUGI: The moon?!

MAKO: Yes, the moon!

YUGI: You summoned the bloody moon?!

MAKO: It's a Spell Card, and technically you activated it when you--

YAMI: That's even weirder than the ocean being on the field! What's next, am I going to duel Seto Kaiba's ghost?

The text "meanwhile..." appears on screen

At another dueling field

KAIBA GHOST: Bored. Bored bored. Bored bored bored. What's taking them so long, hair guy?

KEMO: Attention duelists, according to my hair they should be here any minute now!

KAIBA GHOST: Good, because I'm sick of waiting. Hey, do you think I make a convincing ghost?

KEMO: Attention duelists, you are the most convincing ghost I have ever seen!

KAIBA GHOST: Thank God, it took hours to squeeze into this costume. You know, when this is over, I'll finally be able to spend time with my kids. My wife will be so happy. God, I think she'd be truly heartbroken if anything happened to me. (pause) Where the hell are those guys?!

At the dueling field with an actual ocean on it

YAMI: Now, Giant Soldier of Stone, I command you to attack the Moon!

MAKO: But the Moon isn't even a Monster Card! It doesn't have any attack and defense points!

YAMI: Remember when the show had no clue how the card game worked? That's what's happening now!

On the beach

MAKO: Yugi, you're the most honorable duelist I've ever met. The way you tried to steal my fish and then blatantly violated the rules, you have my respect!

YUGI: (shakes hands with Mako) And you have my mild indifference.

TÉA: I ship it!

MAKO: Now, without further ado, I bid you farewell, my friends! Hahaha! (jumps into the sea) Oh, God, a shark, someone help me!

OTTO: You're on your own, silly buns!

JOEY: Somehow, I don't think that's the last we'll see of Mako.

YAMI: He certainly was an amusing character.

TRISTAN: Hey, remember when this show used to update once a week? That's what's happening--

End. Twilight Zone theme plays in the Background

Text appears on screen: [the more things change, the more they stay the same...]

Stinger:

PEGASUS: ...iiiiiiiine.

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