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Cast (In order of appearance): Yami Yugi, Yugi Muto, Seto Kaiba, Naruto Uzumaki

Date: June 16, 2011

Running Time: 6:03

Transcript Edit

CAPTION:
LittleKuriboh
presents

CAPTION:
"The Evolution Of
Abridging"

YAMI: (voice-over) It all started with one man's dream. (picture of Walt Disney) A dream of a world in which animation would bring joy to families all across the world. Then, Japan took his dream and made it into super violent porno movies, starring teenage girls. (picture of Sailor Moon) This made teenage boys very happy; their parents, not so much. Now, with the aid of modern technology, these super violent pornos could be edited into tasteful comedy shows made suitable for viewing on television's bastard child, the Internet. (appears on screen) Hello there, my name is Yami Yugi, and I'm here to talk to you about abridging, alongside our gracious hosts 1KidsEntertainment, PurpleEyesWTF, xJerry64x, and the lovely Megami33!

YUGI: Uh, actually, Yami, that's Nowacking.

YAMI: Oh, um, my apologies. Nowacking33. Wait, isn't she that rude lesbian?

YUGI: Wait, what makes you think she's a lesbian?

YAMI: Well, she didn't sleep with me

YUGI: Maybe she's just a virgin, y'ever think about that?

YAMI: Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, aaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha, virgins.

YUGI: We're here to talk about the evolution of abridging: a harmless enjoyable hobby that's all about having fun—

YAMI: And how it became nothing more than a cold, desperate struggle for Internet fame.

YUGI: That's... not even... remotely accurate.

YAMI: History is written by the victors, Yugi, and "Victor" is quite literally my middle name. Seriously, my birth certificate says "Yami Victor Yugi".

YUGI: Huh, kinda throws off the alliteration.

YAMI: Yes, it does.

YUGI: It all started back—

YAMI: I hate you, mother!

YUGI: It all started back in 2006, when a guy by the name of LittleKuriboh decided to make a parody of a popular anime series called w:c:yugioh:Yu-Gi-Oh! (anime)Yu-Gi-Oh!

CAPTION: Actual photo of LittleKuriboh

YAMI: Reeeally, you mean he came up with the idea of making fun of a Japanese cartoon on the Internet? How innovative. Genius, even.

YUGI: You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

YAMI: Well, you'd know all about that.

YUGI: What?

YAMI: Being lowest I mean.

YUGI: Okay—

YAMI: Because you're so short and all.

YUGI: Yeah, good one.

YAMI: Thank you.

YUGI: I was being sarcastic.

YAMI: I still accept the compliment.

YUGI: He called his parody an "abridged series", which simply means that it's shorter than the actual show it's based on, conveying the original premise in a fast-paced comedic style.

YAMI: Oh, that's all well and good, Yugi, but we're here to talk about the evolution of abridging, and quite frankly, LittleKuriboh isn't the best choice to illustrate that.

YUGI: Why would you say that?

YAMI: Here, I'll show you. Let's take a look at this classic scene from Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series:

CAPTION:
Original
Scene

(Start flashback)

YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?

KAIBA: Yeah, so?

YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it?

KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money!

(End flashback)

YAMI: And now, let's see what this scene would look like if LittleKuriboh wrote it today:

CAPTION:
New &
Improved
Scene!

(Start flashback)

YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?

KAIBA: Yeah, so?

YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't i—

KAIBA: Internet meeeemes! And now I'm gonna sing a song: It's Friday—

(End flashback)

YAMI: Ah ha ha ha ha ha, aaaah, virgins!

YUGI: You're right, Yami. In order to give an example of how abridging has evolved, we need to look at some of the more recent talent: people who enjoyed the older stuff but brought something new to the table.

YAMI: Like TeamFourStar, who took Dragon Ball Z and made it funnier and shorter! Talk about throwing caution to the wind.

YUGI: Well, TeamFourStar has also set the benchmark for quality of editing.

YAMI: Ah yes, editing. The most important thing to remember when making an abridged series these days is that you must be at least halfway competent with your editing software.

YUGI: But Yami, isn't it just as important to write a good script?

YAMI: No!

YUGI: Oh.

YAMI: I didn't get to be King of Games by having sloppy lip flaps and a microphone that sounds like I'm speaking from within a blast furnace.

YUGI: Yami, please don't talk about your sloppy lip flaps in public.

YAMI: I am who I am, because I put hard work into what many consider to be a silly hobby. Sure, they're just card games, but if you want to succeed and become the best Duelist you can be, you have to work hard and improve yourself, and that's the same principle that has been applied to abridging by the four individuals currently running this panel. Even the lesbian.

YUGI: You know, you really need to stop calling her that.

YAMI: Oh, what are they gonna do, sue me? Hey, everybody, Megami33 is a lesbian!

YUGI: No, Nowacking is the lesbian!

YAMI: Yugi, that's slander! Take it back immediately.

YUGI: Ugh. Each new abridger has their own take on how to tackle the subject matter, from 1KidsEntertainment's incredibly well-written World of Warcraft references, all the way to PurpleEyesWTF's revolutionary Code MENT.

YAMI: Code what?

YUGI: MENT, Yami. MENT.

YAMI: Mint?

YUGI: No— MENT!

YAMI: Yeah, but what is that? What even is that? Some sort of acronym?

YUGI: I... I don't know, actually.

YAMI: I bet it stands for "Midwest Entertainment Never Tried", or "Massively Erect, Nobody Touch!" (The titles Yami mentions appear at the bottom of the screen)

YUGI: Whatever the case, it's safe to say that of all the new and talented abridgers, these guys are perhaps the cream of the crop.

YAMI: "Moody Elephants Need Trombones".

YUGI: At the end of the day, there's no way to really chart the evolution abridging, aside for the jump in audio and visual quality, abridging is pretty much what it's always been.

YAMI: "Manga Exclusive Negima Toys!"

YUGI: But without any strict formula, abridging is really anybody's game, and that's why it's so darn appealing! Anybody can do it.

YAMI: But that doesn't mean that anybody should.

YUGI: Yami, don't discourage them.

YAMI: You're right, Yugi! Give them false hope! Make them believe that they too could someday be a famous lesbian.

YUGI: Yami!

YAMI: Not that there's anything wrong with that.

YUGI: What I think my partner is trying to stay is that abridging has come a long way from its humble beginnings as idiotic internet humor. And now, in a very special treat, Naruto will sing about farting.

NARUTO: (singing)
You can fart if you want to
You can fart out of your behind
You can fart real cool
and make your butt brew
with the gas that's inside of you!

You can fart (You can fart!)
You can fart
Everybody look at your butt
You can fart
You can fart
Everybody look at your butt

Aaah-aart
It's the safety fart

CAPTION: THE END

CAPTION:
Special thanks
to 1Kids, xJerry64x,
Purpleeyes,
and Nogami33

CAPTION:
Now enjoy the
rest of the panel!

CAPTION: [within reason]

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