|← "Busted Rhymes"||#14: "When Yami Met Sally"||"Duel of Fates" →|
Date: November 08, 2006
Running Time: 6:27
YAMI: You're watching Yu-Gi-Oh! When you could be outside doing something else!
JOEY: Finally! Fresh air! I love the smell of card games in the morning!
TÉA: Look, guys, we're right outside Pegasus's castle!
JOEY: Now we just gotta win the prize money! And then I can buy some new friends.
YUGI: What about your sister, Joey?
JOEY: Yeah, I can buy a new sister too!
TÉA: I'm glad Bakura's gay, otherwise we never would have gotten out of that cave.
BAKURA (holding his gaydar, which appears to be pointing up, towards him): Oh, so just because I have a gaydar, you automatically assume I'm gay? Bloody tart.
YUGI: Hey Téa, remember the time we became friends?
TÉA: No, but I do remember the 4Kids version.
Flashback to Téa's restaurant she used to work in
TÉA (thinking): Oh shoot, it's those dorks from school! They'll drive away our customers with all their talk of card games. I've got to do something!
YUGI: I wonder what they call the Super Special Awesome Burger?
TÉA: Kiss my grits, you geeks!
YUGI: Holy cow, I think I'm in love!
TÉA: I don't want to be just a waitress my whole life, you know. I'm saving up my money to become a table dancer in New York.
JOEY: Hey, that's where my accent used to live.
TÉA: (voiceover) The next day I found a suspicious note in my locker.
NOTE: Dear Téa, we found you a secret dance studio. Please come at once. PS: Bring lots of money so that I can steal it from you.
at the "dance studio"
TÉA: Well this is just about the worst dance studio ever! (a mugger appears) Hey, are you my dance instructor?
MUGGER: Just hand over all your money, girly!
TÉA: Screw you man, I'm not paying for lessons! (she bites his arm and gets flung into the wall and knocked out)
TÉA (voiceover): I was unconscious for this next part, but fortunately I can still remember it!
YAMI: I'm here for my ballet classes. I should warn you, I look damn good in a tutu.
MUGGER: Get lost, I'm tryin' to mug this girl.
YAMI: You won't like me when I'm angry. Hulk Smash! (mind crushes him)
TÉA (voiceover): When I woke up I was staring at the man of my dreams.
YAMI: Hey, sweet cheeks, you wanna get off the dance floor? I'm about to shake my money maker.
TÉA: And then we got married and had two beautiful children.
YUGI: I'm pretty sure I don't remember that part. Hey Téa, do you still have that waitress uniform?
TRISTAN: Hey! Stop developing your characters, we have card games to play!
YUGI: Look everyone, some random loser is blocking our path.
KAIBA: Ever since you beat me in that first episode, nobody has been able to take me seriously. But that will all change once I defeat you in a children's card game.
KAIBA: (thinking) I have to beat Yugi if I ever want to see my little brother again. I miss you, Mokuba...
The Way We Were plays.
Flashback to Mokuba being kidnapped from his home by Kemo, subtitled KIDNAPPING #1
Flashback to Mokuba being kidnapped by Kemo at the Duelist Kingdom, subtitled KIDNAPPING #2
Flashback (well, foward) to Mokuba being kidnapped in the Virtual World in a net, subtitled KIDNAPPING #46
Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by Bakura, subtitled KIDNAPPING #83
Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by a helicopter, subtitled KIDNAPPING #171
Flash foward to Mokuba being kidnapped by Tristan, subtitled KIDNAPPING #2,042
KAIBA: (thinking) Hmm, perhaps I should consider keeping him on a leash.
YAMI: I accept your challenge, Kaiba. Kicking your butt never gets old.
On the roof
KAIBA: Let's play on the roof as a homage to Clerks. We'll use my new Duel Disk system, because I have a hard-on for technology.
JOEY: Don't worry Yug, we'll be supporting ya all the way.
TRISTAN: Ten bucks on Kaiba!
TÉA: Fifty bucks on Kaiba!
BAKURA: A hundred quid on Kaiba!
Outside the castle
KEITH: I've won ten star chips...in America!
KEMO: My hair is inviting you to enter the castle!
KEITH: Don't mind if I do! (enters the castle) Man, that guy sure likes talking about his hair.
KEMO: Man, that guy sure likes talking about America.
On the roof
KAIBA: You may have beaten me before, Yugi, but this time I have the upper hand. I've placed my faith in the heart of the cards, and without Exodia, you have no chance of overcoming my unstoppable Blue-Eyes White Dragons!
YAMI: Yeah, well at least I'm not adopted!
KAIBA: What did you just say?
YAMI: Sorry, did I touch a nerve? Why don't you run home and cry to mommy? Oh that's right, you don't have one!
KAIBA: Yugi, I respect you as a duelist, but if you continue to act like a petulant child then-
KAIBA: That's it, Muto, you're [bleep]ing dead! (draws a card) With this card I'll be able to combine three of my Blue-Eyes White Dragons in order to summon a monster without peer! A monster so powerful that-
YAMI: For the love of Ra, just play the damn card already.
KAIBA: Fine. Come forth, Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!
YAMI: Oh, poopie!
Watching from a tower above
KEITH: This is almost as exciting as my favourite movie, Pearl Harbor! Those Japanese bastards got what was coming to them...in America!
YAMI: I shall fuse my Mammoth Graveyard with your Dragon, causing it to decay from the inside!
KAIBA: How the hell did you do that?
YAMI: It's called cheating, deal with it!
KAIBA: I'd rather die than lose to my arch rival. (steps up onto the edge of the roof)
BAKURA: Oh my! If Yugi attacks, the shock waves could send Kaiba flying right off the edge of the castle!
KAIBA: Your gay friend is right, Yugi.
BAKURA: I'm not gay, I'm just British!
YAMI: Dude, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I mean it's just a card game.
KAIBA: Card games are serious business. Now unleash your attack, if you have the guts!
JOEY: This is awesome! Yugi's gonna kill Kaiba!
TRISTAN: I've always dreamed this moment would come!
YAMI: Kaiba must die!
YUGI: But what would grandpa say?
GRANDPA: Yuuugiii... kill that son of a bitch!
TÉA: Yugi, no! You can't take this risk! He might survive!
YUGI: She's right! We can't! (Yami transforms back into Yugi) Stop!
KEITH: I don't believe it! Yugi forfeited the match to Kaiba! Ben Affleck would be ashamed...in America!
KAIBA: I knew my emo strategy would pay off. You geeks are so gullible.
YUGI: I lost a card game! I no longer have a reason to live!
BAKURA: In that case, can I be the main character?
YUGI: Hell no!
End. Beck's "Loser" plays.
[they call it "le super
special awesome burger"]
WEEVIL: (as Nappa from Dragon Ball Z) Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his power level?
Noah appears on screen with a Life Point counter reading 9300
REX: (as Vegeta) It's over nine THOOOUUSAAAAND!!!!
WEEVIL: WHAT?!?!?! Nine thousand?!?