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JADEN: This is it, Yugi. Me and you. The final battle. The duel that everyone’s been waiting for. I’m not gonna hold back.

YUGI: You bet, Jaden. This is going to be super special awesome! I can’t wait to see your strength.

JADEN: Well, alright then. Yugi, it's time to spit some rhymes! (Music in the background)

YUGI: Bring it on, Ja— wait, what? (beat; music continues) Oh, you have got to be f*cking kidding me.

JADEN: (Raps to Xzibit's "X")
Alright Yugi, check it out, it's Jaden from GX,
And sad to say, dawg, you’re my new test subject,
So listen up, here it is, the awesome challenge I suggest,
Who ever spits the best rap outta' you and me will be the best
Duelist in the world, and the King of Games.
You know I got ya beat but homie don’t be lame,
This is serious, you gotta do it, your title says you have to.
If you decline the challenge, by default that means I beat you.
Yugi I hope you're ready,
Cuz this is gonna be heavy,
And I know you might think it’s unnecessary,
But that’s tough,
Suck it up dawg,
It’s something that you gotta do,
Or you can leave and lose your throne, it's up to you.

(Music changes in background)

YUGI: Oh, you think you're hot sh*t huh? Okay, check this out
(Raps to Prime Cut Miggity-Mo' Macdaddy Gizzabang Doggy Dog Dog's rap on the Brak Show)
(Primeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
Prime cut ba ch ba ch ca ba ch ch wa ch ch
Ja-mikity-moe mack daddy what's up (what's up)
I said a jizz a bang boom (boom) boom (boom) boom (boom) da diggy dog,
I said a dog (a dog) a dog (a dog) a diggity dog.
Hey what you say Jay,
Okay, your repartee's cliché,
Forget trading cards, you should just take up ballet,
You wanna duel? Don’t act a fool, or I’ll just tell you "bitch, please".
The only consolation here is you're not from 5D's.
So play the damn card, punk, 'cause its time to throw down.
I’m glad it’s one on one because all your friends are clowns.
Can't wait to see your face turn to sheer disgrace,
When I duel your punk ass right out of this place.
(overlapping Voices) My name is Yugi Moto
(Your show's really lame)
Each episode's the same, yes they are.
Now get yourself set to be ashamed
By the King of Games.
(gggaaammmeeesss)

(Music stops)

JADEN: Ha, that was a'ight, but let me lay somethin' fresh on ya.

YUGI: Uh, Jaden, you're not black.

(Music in background)

JADEN:
(Raps to Eminem's "Business")
You’re about to witness me be absolutely flawless,
The best kind you’ll ever see, I’m being honest.
I’m the hardest the most purest known artist.
(stops singing) And oh, FYI, Yugi, (resumes singing)
I’ve been taking ballet for six years regardless,
But let me lay you something fresh, dawg, what I’m gonna do.
Im'ma tell you something that’s a hundred per-cent true,
You're not the King of Games, homie, no, sorry, not you.
It's your weird Egyptian friend that’s stuck inside you,
You’re a lazy sucker, he does all the work for you,
Then you claim the fame for all the shiz and stuff he do.
(Yugi changes to Yami)
Whatcha even doing being inside him anyway.
Everyone agrees, dude, that is pretty gay.

(Music Stops)

YAMI: You know something, Jaden? I don’t think you know who you're dealing with. Well allow me to fill you in.

(Music starts)

YAMI:
(Raps to hiphopopotamus vs. rhymenoceros)
I'm the mothaflippin'
King of Games.
My hair's spiked
And my pants are really tight,
And I'm sexy (I'm sexy).
If you choose to defend, I'm gonna condescend
Cuz my Dark Magic Attack'll drive you straight round the bend.
I got God Cards I won from Battle City,
Don’t believe me?
Listen carefully to this ditty.
And by the by your cards are sh*tty,
And so’s your show.
Watch what happens when Slifer takes on Winged Kuriboh.

CELTIC GUARDIAN: They call me the… Celtic Guardian, my lyrics will blow your cranium ………umm…… uh……

YAMI: Oh come on, Dave.

CELTIC GUARDIAN: I'm thinking…… um…… uhhh…

YAMI: Ugh, and he wonders why I never summon him.

CELTIC GUARDIAN: Hang on here, I think I got it.

They call me the Celtic Guardian,
Stronger than titanium,
Sharp as a comedian,
Here I am, sold out all the stadiums.
I'm not a lower class dueling monster,
Where did you get that ridiculous con-cep-tion?
(starts talking normally)
Did the Blue-Eyes White Dragon tell you that? F*** the Blue-Eyes White Dragon! Seriously.

YAMI: My Trap and Spell Cards they don’t make sense,
Because their card descriptions are so immense.
And if you Duel with me it won't be tense.
Because against my monsters you've no defense.
My cards are so potent I might seem conceited,
In fact all of my opponents could swear that I cheated.
Sure, sometimes Yugi and I swap places,
But who cares, so long as my enemies have egg on their faces.
Other duelists diss me,
Say my cards are sissy.
(starts talking normally)
Why? Why? W-w-why, why exactly, why?
There’s nothing girly about the Dark Magician Girl,
And only real men use Watapon!
(starts to rap again)
Jaden let's face it, you're second best,
I'm sending you straight back to Yu-Gi-Oh! GX!
Your deck's unbalanced and your hair's a Kuriboh,
Hey, ho.
I'm the mothaflippin'…

JOEY: He’s the mothaflippin'…

TÉA: He’s the mothaflippin'…

TRISTAN: Who’s the mothaflippin'?

YAMI: I'm the mothaflippin'…
I'm the mothaflippin'…
I'm the mothaflippin'…
…MOTHAFLIPPIN'!

(music stops)

JADEN: My hair looks nothing like a Kuriboh!

YAMI: I think you'll find it does.

JADEN: Does not!

YAMI: Does too!

JADEN: Does not!

YAMI: Does too times ten!

JADEN: Okay, you asked for it, pal! Get ready, because when I use this next card, it's over! (sounds of a motorbike in the background) I summon Elemental HERO Burstina— (gets hit by motorbike, screams, and falls to the ground) Ow…

YAMI: Huh. Yusei, what are you doing here?

YUSEI: I came to this city to play a card game.

JACK: (offscreen) ON MOTORCYCLES!

YUSEI: By the way, did I just run over Kuriboh?

YAMI: It’s okay, it was only Jaden.

JADEN: I think I broke my coccyx!

YAMI: Oh, walk it off, ya Mary Sue!

CAPTION: the end

(DMX's "X Gon' Give It To Ya" is played as a credits theme)

CAPTION:
starring
littlekuriboh as yugi moto/yami

CAPTION: shadyvox as jaden yuki

CAPTION: semisoma01 as yusei fudo

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