Cast (In order of appearance): Zorc, Bakura, Zorc's Mother, Marik

Date: April 1, 2008

Running Time: 4:48


(The Cheers theme song, "Where Everybody Knows Your Name", plays as an opening title sequence similar to that of Cheers is shown, with the following credits in similar Cheers font:)

Zorc and Pals




Marik Ishtar

(One of the people in the title sequence holds up a newspaper with the headline "ZORC WINS!")

(End titlle sequence.)

(Cut to Zorc stalking around in a dark, gloomy setting, as Bakura says the following opening line:)

BAKURA (voiceover): Zorc and Pals is filmed before a dead studio audience.

(Bakura sits on a throne, watching an hourglass.)

BAKURA: It's 8 o'clock and Zorc still hasn't finished destroying the world. That man has some explaining to do.

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: Honey, I'm home!

(Canned applause.)

BAKURA: Zorc, what time do you call this?

ZORC: Time to destroy the world.

(Canned laughter.)

BAKURA: Actually it's 9 o'clock.

ZORC: Well you know what I say. Anytime is a good time to destroy the world.

BAKURA: I expected you home three hours ago. Your dinner has gone cold.

ZORC: Uh-oh, I think I'm in trouble.

(Canned laughter.)

BAKURA: Why were you out so late?

ZORC: Because I just learned that my mother is coming to visit.

(Dramatic music: "Dum Dum DUUUUUUMM")

(Canned laughter.)

BAKURA: You never mentioned you had a mother.

ZORC: That's because she hates me.

(The audience "aww"s.)

BAKURA: Why would anybody hate you, Zorc?

ZORC: Because I destroyed the world.

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: She wanted me to grow up to become a lawyer. Imagine the shame she must feel, knowing that I bring about the deaths of millions of people.

BAKURA: Yes, she must really despise you.

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: Well not anymore. When my mother shows up, I want you to pretend that I'm a successful lawyer and that I don't destroy worlds.

BAKURA: You've got to be kidding me.

(Canned laughter.)


ZORC: That must be her now! Remember, I'm a lawyer.

BAKURA: Right. I think I got it.

(Zorc's mother looks just like Zorc, but with curly blonde hair and red lipstick.)

ZORC'S MOTHER: Hello, Zorkie poo! How is my little demon child today?

ZORC: I'm good, Mother. In fact I'm better than good, I am a lawyer!

(Canned laughter.)

BAKURA: It's true, he's a lawyer. A huge blue lawyer.

ZORC'S MOTHER: Oh, my goodness! Imagine that. My Zorkie poo, a lawyer.

ZORC: Yes, I do law things!

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC'S MOTHER: Oh Zorkie poo, I'm so proud! (slight pause) Aren't you going to introduce me to your wife?

ZORC: My...wife?

ZORC'S MOTHER: Yes, your wife. I made it very clear that I wanted you to get married by the time you were 30.

ZORC: But Mother, I'm 5,000,000 years old.

ZORC'S MOTHER: Well all the more reason to get married then. You're no spring chicken.

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: Yes, well I did have a wife.

ZORC'S MOTHER: You did? What happened?

ZORC: I destroyed her!

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC'S MOTHER: What are you talking about, Zorkie poo? You're a lawyer. Lawyers don't destroy things.

ZORC: What? Oh, um.... No okay I didn't destroy her then.

ZORC'S MOTHER: Then where is she?

ZORC: Um... She's right over there.


ZORC: Hello, honey!

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC'S MOTHER: Oh, so you must be Zorc's wife.

BAKURA (frustrated): Uhhh, yes... I am Zorc's wife?

(Canned laughter.)

BAKURA: Pleasure to meet you.

ZORC'S MOTHER: Oh, the pleasure's all mine.

ZORC: My wife and I were just about to have sex before you came in.

ZORC'S MOTHER: Oh, how wonderful!

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: ... I am a lawyer.

(Canned laughter and applause.)

BAKURA: Zorc...

ZORC: What is it, darling?

BAKURA: How long do you think you can keep up this bloody charade? Everyone knows I'm not your wife.

ZORC'S MOTHER: You're not his wife?

BAKURA: Of course not, it's bloody obvious!

(Canned laughter. Marik suddenly appears.)

MARIK: Hold everything!

BAKURA: Marik? How did you get here?

MARIK: With science! And I bring urgent news: Bakura is not Zorc's wife... I am!

(Dramatic music: "Dum Dum DUUUUUUMM")

(Canned laughter.)

ZORC: Oh, yeah! I got married to Marik! I forgot all about that!

(More canned laughter.)

BAKURA: Zorc, you've got some explaining to do.

ZORC: Uh-oh, I think I'm in trouble.

(Canned laughter.)